Navigating The Holiday House of Mirrors

We are entering what for many of us is the busiest social time of year. Whether it’s getting together with family, friends, co-workers, neighbours or just being out and about at the shopping malls, we can end up interacting with a lot of people during the festive season.

For some, interacting with all of these people can be invigorating, and for others, it can be quite draining. It can bring out the best and the worst in us.

Can you relate?

While part of this can be attributed to your natural state of extroversion/introversion, common interests, past history, family dynamics, etc. there is more going on behind the scenes to explain why you feel and react the way you do with others.

One is related to being in resonance or dissonance with the energy they are putting out (which I will talk about in a future post), another is what I refer to as playing old recordings in your head (here’s a post about that – https://lisalayden.com/are-you-playing-old-recordings-in-your-head ), and another is all about mirroring which is the focus of this post.

Life is a House of Mirrors

Contrary to how it may appear, all of life is a mirror you have created for yourself.

Each mirror is providing you with an opportunity to see an aspect of you that you would like to better understand, express, align with, or change.

While these mirrors come in many forms, they are often most noticeable through the people you directly interact with.

You may like the reflection you see when you look at some of the mirrors (the people). You may not like others, or only like certain parts of the reflections.

Because of this, you likely prefer to engage with certain people and avoid others when possible. After all, who wants to be around people who get under your skin when you can hang around people who make you feel good about yourself!

I completely understand.

Interacting with the different mirrors in small doses can be manageable but at the festive holiday time the volume and variety of mirrors can be more than usual creating what I call “The Holiday House of Mirrors”.

The Holiday House of Mirrors

The holiday house of mirrors is typically a larger group of people getting together in one place then would normally happen in day-to-day interactions. The combination of volume and mix of people (and situations), as well as the intensity of the mirrors, can range from energizing, invigorating and fun, all the way to the other extreme of being draining, overwhelming and frustrating.

To add to the mix, it can often appear that the mirrors you would rather not be around, tend to be wherever you turn!

When you are around the mirrors that make you feel good, all is good, but when others don’t it can be trying to say the least.

But this year can be different.

Navigating the Holiday House of Mirrors

Now that you can see how the people in your life are providing you with a mirror to better understand yourself, you can shift from reacting to observing.

Victim = life is happening TO you. = disempowerment

Observer = life is happening BY you. = empowerment

You can choose to observe in the moment or after as you reflect back on the interaction.

If you choose to observe in the moment, you may find it easiest to do this with the people you tend to resonate with better.

If you decide to observe the mirrors you normally try to avoid, you may want to try it in small doses at first and of course, you are the only one who can decide whether to interact with them at all.

As you do this more and more, you will likely find the message in the mirrors become easier to see but don’t worry if they don’t as there will still be times when the message eludes.

Here’s an example to demonstrate

Let’s say you have a person in your life who is chronically late and while it bothers you some of the time, it really bothers you at this time of year.

When you ask yourself “Why does this bother me so much?” your immediate answer may be “It’s because this person is being disrespectful and that’s wrong.”

Remember, the ego can be quick to judge because it thinks in terms of right/wrong based on the beliefs and mindsets it has about how life should be.

When you observe, you step away from the ego (because it can be both easily stroked and bruised) and ask at a deep level, “What is this mirror really trying to show me about myself?”

When you step away from the ego and look deeper and without judgement, you may find the reflection is trying to help you see something different. For example:

As you take on the role of observer begin by asking yourself “what does being late represent to me?” Does it represent not being respectful of others, self-centeredness, lack of self-discipline, lack of structure in their life, lack of organization/time management skills, fear of being seen or being in the spotlight, no responsibilities, free-spirit, etc.? Perhaps it means something else for you.

Once you have identified what being late represents to you, you can then ask yourself “Is there an aspect of me that aligns with that”? For example, do you believe you lack structure in your life? Or from the opposite end of that spectrum, do you believe you are overly structured and could benefit from being less structured? Does a lack of structure or being overly structured benefit you or limit you? Is it something you want to change and why? The mirror is trying to help you see and answer that.

Perhaps the mirror trying to show you something completely unexpected and at first unrelated.

For example, on the surface, you may believe this mirror is related to structure, but when you dig a little further an unexpected (and potentially buried) memory pops into your mind. You remember a time when you were little and someone very special to you did not show up when they had promised to. At the time, you internalized that to mean that you were not a priority, not worthy and the people you care about will only disappoint you. While you originally thought this ‘late’ mirror was all about structure, the deeper dive helped you to see what it was really trying to show you. It was trying to help you unearth and let go of the memory and the associated lack based beliefs and mindsets you had created for yourself from it.

That mirror was there to help you not to irritate you!

Mirrors are unique to you.

I hope the example helped you to see how each mirror is trying to show you something and the reflection you see in the mirror is unique to you. You (like all of us) have a unique combination of beliefs, mindsets, and memories that create the mirror.

As you understand more about mirroring and begin to see what each mirror in your life is trying to show you, you may just find the mirrors that in the past would get under your skin, no longer generate the same reaction once you see the message.

And as you may have guessed, you are also being a mirror for others! Yup, it’s like one big giant mirror disco ball. :-)

‘Til next time if you liked this, please social share it. Together we can help create a global mind shift.